And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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