Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
