Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
