Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Randomize
