it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
