i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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