I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
