I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
