I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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