I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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