wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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