Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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