My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
