My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize