I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
