I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
