Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
