Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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