You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
