so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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