you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize