We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
