That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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