So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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