You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
