My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
last night I used snow as a chaser
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
