I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
