Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
