he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
