I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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