Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
