I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
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