I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
