What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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