jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
