Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize