We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
