hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
