This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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