I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
