I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
