ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
