ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
that's an acceptable place to lick
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize