Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
