Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize