If i come over, it means nothing
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Randomize
