the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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