whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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