my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
