And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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