Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
