Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
