i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
