And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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