bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize