one two three fourrrrnication!
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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